Diwali's cricket dhamaka
By H Natarajan
What’s in and what’s out in the fireworks market this Diwali? Here is what we found out:
Ganguly Rocket: This rocket ranks high in customer dissatisfaction. Feedback reveals that it does not soar as high as it used to or simply does not take off at all. Stricter quality control tests under the newly-appointed Australian expert have put pressure on the company board to shut production of this malfunctioning rocket. Surveys indicate people prefer the latest arrivals to this rocket.
Dravid Rocket: A very versatile cracker. Scores high on reliability, goes the highest, lasts the longest and performs more functions than any rocket – it gyrates in the air like a chakri, lights up the skies like an anar and packs decibel level of four rassi bombs on explosion. It’s value for money not just among rockets but all Indian crackers.
Tendulkar Rocket: No 1 rocket in terms of popularity and sales for years, this rocket suffered mechanical glitches and that, consequently, affected its quality and production. That led to its unavailability last Diwali resulting in widespread unhappiness. However, it will be back this festival of lights.
Sehwag Rocket: A prototype of the Tendulkar variety, the Sehwag Rocket has eaten into the sales of other rockets in many parts of the country. This rocket does not confirm to traditional methods of fire cracker manufacturing and its spectacular range of pyrotechnics is widely regarded as among the two best in the world. A very, very dangerous rocket; it gives little time to move away from its launch pad when it explodes into the sky.
Yuvraj Rocket: One of the new generation rockets, the YR does not score on reliability factor – on the launch pad or off it. Last month they expected it to take off in a big way, but not only it failed go up but caused a surprised by going in exactly the opposite direction!
Nehra Rocket: This rocket has been fashioned by the same as the YR Rocket, which probably explains the unreliability factor in both rockets. You buy a dozen Nehra Rockets and you may find that the first six have firing away in spectacular fashion. Then, quite inexplicably, you will find the remaining six a huge disappoint – failing to go up, going erratically or simply breaking down.
Pathan Rocket: The best of the latest new-generation rockets. A pack of six comes with a fantastic array of arsenal. Each rocket explodes an arsenal that is different from the other. That’s the only unpredictability factor, what is predictable is its high-quality display. Must-buy cracker.
Gambhir Rocket: A new but good quality cracker. Buy it if you have no issues settling for 40-50% performance. The shopkeeper will tell you it will go 100 metres in the sky, but often times it ends in midflight – between 40 and 45 metres.
Kaif Rocket: There has been a clamour for this rocket, but apparently politics in the Fire Cracker Board has got it shelved. Very energetic fire cracker.
Zaheer Rocket: Had good firepower when it first hit the market. It used to blast off at over 140 kmph and was a treat to watch. Its nice package also added to its popularity. An entire new next generation of rockets are proving a real threat to ZR.
Kumble and Harbhajan zameen chakris: Though there are hundreds of chakris in the market, the Kumble Chakri and the Bhajji Chakri have recorded the highest sales. The Kumble Chakri has more revolutions than any other chakris, bounces while in motion and has been a hit at home. The export market was not as enthused as those at home, but that has changed in the last few years. The beauty of the Bhajji Chakri was it would spin one way and suddenly spin the other way. But if one has to choose between the pehla and the doosra, one would choose the pehla.
(An abridged version of the above appeared in Mid-Day)
What’s in and what’s out in the fireworks market this Diwali? Here is what we found out:
Ganguly Rocket: This rocket ranks high in customer dissatisfaction. Feedback reveals that it does not soar as high as it used to or simply does not take off at all. Stricter quality control tests under the newly-appointed Australian expert have put pressure on the company board to shut production of this malfunctioning rocket. Surveys indicate people prefer the latest arrivals to this rocket.
Dravid Rocket: A very versatile cracker. Scores high on reliability, goes the highest, lasts the longest and performs more functions than any rocket – it gyrates in the air like a chakri, lights up the skies like an anar and packs decibel level of four rassi bombs on explosion. It’s value for money not just among rockets but all Indian crackers.
Tendulkar Rocket: No 1 rocket in terms of popularity and sales for years, this rocket suffered mechanical glitches and that, consequently, affected its quality and production. That led to its unavailability last Diwali resulting in widespread unhappiness. However, it will be back this festival of lights.
Sehwag Rocket: A prototype of the Tendulkar variety, the Sehwag Rocket has eaten into the sales of other rockets in many parts of the country. This rocket does not confirm to traditional methods of fire cracker manufacturing and its spectacular range of pyrotechnics is widely regarded as among the two best in the world. A very, very dangerous rocket; it gives little time to move away from its launch pad when it explodes into the sky.
Yuvraj Rocket: One of the new generation rockets, the YR does not score on reliability factor – on the launch pad or off it. Last month they expected it to take off in a big way, but not only it failed go up but caused a surprised by going in exactly the opposite direction!
Nehra Rocket: This rocket has been fashioned by the same as the YR Rocket, which probably explains the unreliability factor in both rockets. You buy a dozen Nehra Rockets and you may find that the first six have firing away in spectacular fashion. Then, quite inexplicably, you will find the remaining six a huge disappoint – failing to go up, going erratically or simply breaking down.
Pathan Rocket: The best of the latest new-generation rockets. A pack of six comes with a fantastic array of arsenal. Each rocket explodes an arsenal that is different from the other. That’s the only unpredictability factor, what is predictable is its high-quality display. Must-buy cracker.
Gambhir Rocket: A new but good quality cracker. Buy it if you have no issues settling for 40-50% performance. The shopkeeper will tell you it will go 100 metres in the sky, but often times it ends in midflight – between 40 and 45 metres.
Kaif Rocket: There has been a clamour for this rocket, but apparently politics in the Fire Cracker Board has got it shelved. Very energetic fire cracker.
Zaheer Rocket: Had good firepower when it first hit the market. It used to blast off at over 140 kmph and was a treat to watch. Its nice package also added to its popularity. An entire new next generation of rockets are proving a real threat to ZR.
Kumble and Harbhajan zameen chakris: Though there are hundreds of chakris in the market, the Kumble Chakri and the Bhajji Chakri have recorded the highest sales. The Kumble Chakri has more revolutions than any other chakris, bounces while in motion and has been a hit at home. The export market was not as enthused as those at home, but that has changed in the last few years. The beauty of the Bhajji Chakri was it would spin one way and suddenly spin the other way. But if one has to choose between the pehla and the doosra, one would choose the pehla.
(An abridged version of the above appeared in Mid-Day)
posted by Unknown at 8:35 pm
2 Comments:
Hilarious Vince....i love original stuff and this takes the cake and the bakery:-)))
good one.
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