Flashback: Dream Team & Silly Points
H Natarajan
Live cricket telecasts have come a long way in India since the early 70s when DD brought bird's eye view action into few economically privileged homes which had the money to buy coveted desi black and white sets like Dyanora, ECTV, Crown and Konark.
Today there are umpteen 29-inches Sony colour TV sets in the `duplex' shanties along the Central and Western Railway lines of Mumbai. And in the commentary box, the Fredun de Vitres and the Narottam Puris have given way to the Sunil Gavaskars and Ian Chappells and the Ravi Chaturvedis and Sushil Doshis to the Arun Lals and Maninder Singhs. There are more cricketing heavyweights in the commentator's box than in the middle.
I will thus deviate from my normal practice and profile the star commentators than the players. A few random thoughts, all my own, but inspired by the late friend of the friend on the 21st floor.
Sunil Gavaskar: The greatest living batsman and one of the all-time greatest - living, dead or to be born. Still got more criticism than most. To cite two examples. Copped more flak for technically correct left-handed batting in a Ranji Trophy match than Sadgoppan Ramesh has for his flawed technique in Tests. Sunny was also hauled over the coals for carrying his bat in the first World Cup. More recently, was quizzed by the CBI for placing more faith in the Bombay Gymkhana lockers than the vaults of Nationalised or privatised banks. Has realised that scoring over 10,122 runs and 34 centuries in Tests may get a place in cricket's Hall of Fame and a plum post in the International Cricket Council, but not a place in the hallowed administration of the Mumbai Cricket Association. Now gives discourses on The Sunny & Boycs Show - the audio-visual equivalent of Sir Don Bradman's classic, The Art of Cricket.
Geoff Boycott: Known to show more respect to his grandmum than his girlfriends. When Boycott was first heard on Indian television, most people in the country refused to believe that he was speaking in English. Boycott played for England, Yorkshire and himself – in the reverse order. If he had shown half the aggression in his batting as he shows in his commentary and columns, he would have scored 3000 more international runs. A master at balls to play and balls to leave. If the choice was between spending a weekend with Pamela Anderson and scoring a Test century for England, Boycs would opt for the latter. But if the choice was between making a double hundred for England and getting 2,000 pounds for a short coaching assignment, Boycs will give it a good deep thought and then opt for the latter!
Krishnamachari Srikkanth: Technically the most correct batsman on the third floor of the unoccupied flat in the only building south West of Mahabalipuram. A fitness fanatic, he used to walk from his crease to square-leg between deliveries. Had the ability to disorient opposition who did not know if they were playing a one-dayer or Test. Used to open the innings for India by getting straight away into the sixth gear. Now comes in even before the openers, on Doodarshan and talks in, ``What u call it,'' the seventh gear. Probably the most popular cricketer ever from Tamil Nadu - not that Tamil Nadu produced too many. Reportedly, CM Karunanidhi views Srikkanth's popularity as a political threat to his career and keeps him away from Chennai by `helping' him get the DD job.
Ian Chappell: Spends more time in India commentating, writing, auctioning and acting as Master of Ceremonies. Was last seen standing in a long queue to get his Indian ration card. Saurav Ganguly believes that Ian's mouth stinks more than Trevor Chappell's underarm and that's the reason why he often got delayed for the toss whenever Ian was waiting with the mike at the pitch. Great perception of the game, but suffered rare off days. Once compared Sunil Joshi’s alleged left-arm spin to Bishan Bedi’s left-arm magic. Joshi, reportedly, decide to retire on hearing Ian’s comments; there was nothing greater he could ever hoped to achieve even if his talents were to escalate ten fold. Such comparisons stopped after Bedi threatened with a defamation Chappell suit.
Ravi Shastri: Limited ability, unlimited confidence. Was smart in his playing days, is smarter in his post-playing days. Favoured the fine-leg more than any other area. Can bat for five days without scoring a run or can be aggressive enough to hit six sixes in a six ball over - A man of `Moods'. Best nocturnal player of his times. Statistician Mohandas Menon informs me that Shastri's strike rate in night matches was higher than day matches.
Tony Greig: South African by birth, Englishman by choice and Australian by design. Doesn't grovel anymore, with or minus Michael Holding in the commentary box. Ability to bring any game alive, even if the match is as exciting as last week's upma. The buzz is that his great ability to bring about orgasmic excitement in the commentary has seen him sign a staggering endorsement deal for Viagra. Six feet, seven inch tall has proven track record to rise to the occasion.
Sanjay Manjrekar: Technically the most correct batsman this side of the Arabian Sea and that side of the Bay of Bengal. There was none better than him north of Shivaji Park or South of Dadar Union. One of the few Indian commentators who speaks English during English commentary sessions.
Laxman Sivaramakrishnan: Talks about Shane Warne when Shane Warne it is who should have been talking about him. Fell short in his tally of wickets in Tests - some 350 wickets short. Took 18 Test a wicket in 18 hours and then in another little over 18 days of playing international cricket, his career was over. Bowls between commentary sessions. Nurses hopes of comeback into the Indian team as a leg-spinner. That possibility looks brighter than his future as a commentator.
Maninder Singh: Occasional cricketer, occasional commentator. Used to frequently change his bowling action. After retirement, is frequently changing his profession. Was umpire to start with, is now a commentator. Even he does not know what he will be tomorrow.
Harsha Bhogle: As a commentator and writer, he is John Arlott and Neville Cardus rolled into one. Paints pictures and words that make hearing and reading more enjoyable than actually watching the game. Only mediaperson whose questions are more interesting than the answers he gets. Like Viswanathan Anand and Sachin Tendulkar, a humble icon of our times. As a friend, was middle class Azharuddin's greatest wealth till Azhar suffered from wealth `fixation'.
Manoj Prabhakar: Actually, he had no business to be in this list. Of course, some would say that he had no business to be in so many other places as well. Prabhakar went in `hunt' for a job as TV commentator. He could not understand why an army of security men wanted him to go beyond frisking him nude. Rejected the job even before appearing in front of the selection panel. ``Arre, what else is there to hide?'' he told Tehelka in an exclusive interview. Prabhakar did not realise the security concerns were not just what else, but where else?!
(This piece, a deviation from serious introspection of the game, was inspired by the inimitable Busybee. The above satire was published in The Afternoon Despatch & Courier, a newspaper founded and edited by Behram Contractor, aka Busybee, shortly after his death in early 2001.
Live cricket telecasts have come a long way in India since the early 70s when DD brought bird's eye view action into few economically privileged homes which had the money to buy coveted desi black and white sets like Dyanora, ECTV, Crown and Konark.
Today there are umpteen 29-inches Sony colour TV sets in the `duplex' shanties along the Central and Western Railway lines of Mumbai. And in the commentary box, the Fredun de Vitres and the Narottam Puris have given way to the Sunil Gavaskars and Ian Chappells and the Ravi Chaturvedis and Sushil Doshis to the Arun Lals and Maninder Singhs. There are more cricketing heavyweights in the commentator's box than in the middle.
I will thus deviate from my normal practice and profile the star commentators than the players. A few random thoughts, all my own, but inspired by the late friend of the friend on the 21st floor.
Sunil Gavaskar: The greatest living batsman and one of the all-time greatest - living, dead or to be born. Still got more criticism than most. To cite two examples. Copped more flak for technically correct left-handed batting in a Ranji Trophy match than Sadgoppan Ramesh has for his flawed technique in Tests. Sunny was also hauled over the coals for carrying his bat in the first World Cup. More recently, was quizzed by the CBI for placing more faith in the Bombay Gymkhana lockers than the vaults of Nationalised or privatised banks. Has realised that scoring over 10,122 runs and 34 centuries in Tests may get a place in cricket's Hall of Fame and a plum post in the International Cricket Council, but not a place in the hallowed administration of the Mumbai Cricket Association. Now gives discourses on The Sunny & Boycs Show - the audio-visual equivalent of Sir Don Bradman's classic, The Art of Cricket.
Geoff Boycott: Known to show more respect to his grandmum than his girlfriends. When Boycott was first heard on Indian television, most people in the country refused to believe that he was speaking in English. Boycott played for England, Yorkshire and himself – in the reverse order. If he had shown half the aggression in his batting as he shows in his commentary and columns, he would have scored 3000 more international runs. A master at balls to play and balls to leave. If the choice was between spending a weekend with Pamela Anderson and scoring a Test century for England, Boycs would opt for the latter. But if the choice was between making a double hundred for England and getting 2,000 pounds for a short coaching assignment, Boycs will give it a good deep thought and then opt for the latter!
Krishnamachari Srikkanth: Technically the most correct batsman on the third floor of the unoccupied flat in the only building south West of Mahabalipuram. A fitness fanatic, he used to walk from his crease to square-leg between deliveries. Had the ability to disorient opposition who did not know if they were playing a one-dayer or Test. Used to open the innings for India by getting straight away into the sixth gear. Now comes in even before the openers, on Doodarshan and talks in, ``What u call it,'' the seventh gear. Probably the most popular cricketer ever from Tamil Nadu - not that Tamil Nadu produced too many. Reportedly, CM Karunanidhi views Srikkanth's popularity as a political threat to his career and keeps him away from Chennai by `helping' him get the DD job.
Ian Chappell: Spends more time in India commentating, writing, auctioning and acting as Master of Ceremonies. Was last seen standing in a long queue to get his Indian ration card. Saurav Ganguly believes that Ian's mouth stinks more than Trevor Chappell's underarm and that's the reason why he often got delayed for the toss whenever Ian was waiting with the mike at the pitch. Great perception of the game, but suffered rare off days. Once compared Sunil Joshi’s alleged left-arm spin to Bishan Bedi’s left-arm magic. Joshi, reportedly, decide to retire on hearing Ian’s comments; there was nothing greater he could ever hoped to achieve even if his talents were to escalate ten fold. Such comparisons stopped after Bedi threatened with a defamation Chappell suit.
Ravi Shastri: Limited ability, unlimited confidence. Was smart in his playing days, is smarter in his post-playing days. Favoured the fine-leg more than any other area. Can bat for five days without scoring a run or can be aggressive enough to hit six sixes in a six ball over - A man of `Moods'. Best nocturnal player of his times. Statistician Mohandas Menon informs me that Shastri's strike rate in night matches was higher than day matches.
Tony Greig: South African by birth, Englishman by choice and Australian by design. Doesn't grovel anymore, with or minus Michael Holding in the commentary box. Ability to bring any game alive, even if the match is as exciting as last week's upma. The buzz is that his great ability to bring about orgasmic excitement in the commentary has seen him sign a staggering endorsement deal for Viagra. Six feet, seven inch tall has proven track record to rise to the occasion.
Sanjay Manjrekar: Technically the most correct batsman this side of the Arabian Sea and that side of the Bay of Bengal. There was none better than him north of Shivaji Park or South of Dadar Union. One of the few Indian commentators who speaks English during English commentary sessions.
Laxman Sivaramakrishnan: Talks about Shane Warne when Shane Warne it is who should have been talking about him. Fell short in his tally of wickets in Tests - some 350 wickets short. Took 18 Test a wicket in 18 hours and then in another little over 18 days of playing international cricket, his career was over. Bowls between commentary sessions. Nurses hopes of comeback into the Indian team as a leg-spinner. That possibility looks brighter than his future as a commentator.
Maninder Singh: Occasional cricketer, occasional commentator. Used to frequently change his bowling action. After retirement, is frequently changing his profession. Was umpire to start with, is now a commentator. Even he does not know what he will be tomorrow.
Harsha Bhogle: As a commentator and writer, he is John Arlott and Neville Cardus rolled into one. Paints pictures and words that make hearing and reading more enjoyable than actually watching the game. Only mediaperson whose questions are more interesting than the answers he gets. Like Viswanathan Anand and Sachin Tendulkar, a humble icon of our times. As a friend, was middle class Azharuddin's greatest wealth till Azhar suffered from wealth `fixation'.
Manoj Prabhakar: Actually, he had no business to be in this list. Of course, some would say that he had no business to be in so many other places as well. Prabhakar went in `hunt' for a job as TV commentator. He could not understand why an army of security men wanted him to go beyond frisking him nude. Rejected the job even before appearing in front of the selection panel. ``Arre, what else is there to hide?'' he told Tehelka in an exclusive interview. Prabhakar did not realise the security concerns were not just what else, but where else?!
(This piece, a deviation from serious introspection of the game, was inspired by the inimitable Busybee. The above satire was published in The Afternoon Despatch & Courier, a newspaper founded and edited by Behram Contractor, aka Busybee, shortly after his death in early 2001.
posted by Unknown at 12:37 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home